DIVORCE-SUCCESS
Chaos to Calm

Parenting Styles after Divorce - a Quiz

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This self-evaluation is designed to increase your awareness of your particular parenting style. Assign points only to those styles which apply to you, and in proportion to how frequently you utilize each style. As everyone is likely to have characteristics of several styles, the aim is to determine which style predominates.

The total must add up to 100 percentage points.

_____AUTHORITY: Commands are used routinely and force (verbal or physical) is used to deal with resistance. The keeping of order stems from the power of the parent rather than from rule enforcement or from working out problems cooperatively.

_____DISTANCE: parents have limited time or are uncomfortable in dealing with closeness. Routine management often falls to others in the family (siblings or relatives) or to outside caretakers. Action predominates over discussion and anger is generally avoided.

_____EMOTIONALISM: Usually warm and loving, these parents lash out over insignificant issues when under pressure. Their handling of problem behavior is influenced more by the mood of the moment than by any type of agreed upon parenting philosophy.

_____INDULGENCE: Material abundance comes from financially well-off or self-sacrificing parents. Due to the parents’ discomfort with conflict, children frequently get their own way and often are rescued from problems of their own making.

_____LEADERSHIP: Dialogue and parental support at the keys to preventing and solving problems. Rule enforcement is kept to a minimum and children are allowed and encouraged to become increasingly self-regulating and accountable.

_____MANAGEMENT: A well organized system is developed and rules are consistently enforced. Privileges come from reaching a certain age or proving readiness, and popular consequences include grounding and loss of privileges.

_____PERSUASION: Incentives and rewards are given to motivate youngsters to behave, to achieve and to follow the prescribed path in life. Failure to conform frequently results in new incentives, pressure or withdrawal of parental support.

_____PROTECTION: Parents tend to be worrisome and are quick to warn their children about dangers to their health, safety and emotional security. They provide many services and routinely offer their children refuge from difficult situations.

_____RATIONALITY: Taking pride in their ethical standards, logical thinking and emotional control, these parents frequently give advice on how to achieve success and correct mistakes. They always have a rebuttal for any disagreement.

_____UNDERDOG: These parents see themselves as misunderstood and unappreciated and seem unable to keep their children from gaining the upper hand. Feeling ill-prepared to carry out consequences, they complain or suffer in silence.

Total = 100 percentage points.

Thank you to Morri Namaste, L.C.S.W. for this Quiz.


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