DIVORCE-SUCCESS
Chaos to Calm

Why Your Ex Doesn’t Pay Child Support after Your Divorce

Email This Page Email This Page Print This Article Print This Article

Able and Willing to Pay

Willing but Unable to Pay

Characteristics:
  • Employed
  • Good communication with co-parent
  • Affordable child support
  • Emotionally stable
  • Parenting time consistent
  • Have child’s best interest at heart
Characteristics:
  • May have child’s best interest at heart
  • Situational poverty (verses generational poverty)
  • More likely to have multiple child support orders
  • Poor health and low energy
  • Mental Health issues such as depression
Barriers:
  • No barriers at this time
Barriers:
  • Loss of employment
  • Lack of employable job skills
  • First tear employment (first to be laid-off)
  • Poor financial management
  • Job retention skills weak
  • Lack of reliable transportation
  • Incarceration in recent past
  • Limited educational achievement
  • Arrearage Substantial
  • Lack of hope that things can get better
Interventions:
  • Regular recognition and reinforcement
  • Provide enhanced parenting skills
  • Automate support to minimize errors
  • Early intervention is effective if payment is late
  • Referral to social supports as needed
Interventions:
  • Action plan with incremental steps
  • Review and modification of order if not realistic
  • Life Skills class/Referral to MHC
  • Job readiness and job retention training
  • Placement and monitoring of employment
  • Father’s Support Group

Able but Unwilling to Pay

Unwilling and Unable to Pay

Characteristics:
  • Commonly referred to as deadbeat dads
  • General resistance to any authority in their life
  • Sometimes narcissistic tendency
  • Non acceptance of co-parent’s intimate relationships
  • Intelligent, able to minimize system impact on lifestyle
  • Does not have child’s interest at heart
  • Adversarial relationship with CSE office
Characteristics:
  • Antagonistic relationship with CSE
  • Antagonistic relationship with co-parent
  • Inability to view the needs of child objectively
  • Self identification as a victim
Barriers:
  • Parenting issues with co-parent
  • Never established bond with the child or children
  • Payment is perceived to be to state and not child
  • Belief that the established order is unreasonable
Barriers:
  • Guided by an irrational belief system
  • Angry and hostile towards most authority
  • Typically unresponsive to punitive interventions
  • Poor job history/ Unwilling to work
  • Drug and Alcohol addictions
Interventions:
  • Wage assignment and income interception
  • License revocation
  • Contempt filings/ consequences/ incarceration
  • Passport denial
  • Individual therapy focusing on anger and resistance
  • Peer pressure through public identification
  • Mediation of parenting issues
Interventions:
  • Victim Sensitivity Training
  • Court intervention- contempt citation
  • Loss of public privileges (license revocations)
  • Responsible Fatherhood Classes
  • Cognitive re-structuring

By Alvin Wengerd with permission

Print This Article Print This Article

Receive a Free copy of "The 12 Mistakes to Avoid Before you Begin your Divorce"

Name:
Email:

Testimonials

My biggest fear was that the process was going to be too overwhelming to deal with, and that I wasn’t going to get what I needed. It became clear when we were going through the financials which had to be prepared for the court, that I was in good hands with Sat Tara. I was able to do the most overwhelming aspect of my divorce with her help, because she offered calm, clear, knowledgeable support. I was not alone in a sea of confusion and legalese.

Client

The biggest benefit I got from working with Sat Tara was the clear knowledge that she believed in my ability to make it through that hellish time. And I did.

Client

Working with Sat Tara was different than other work I’ve done mainly because it was very practical as well as emotional and psychological. A great balance, especially when you’re trying to cope with a divorce. Sat Tara is compassionate and skillful and I’d certainly recommend her to a friend in need.

Client

Sat Tara has been expert in guiding my clients through the divorce process, including the financial and custody mazes. I have always found her material reliable and helpful.

Boulder County Attorney


Sat Tara combines street smarts with humanity. She helped me explore, recognize and identify the important issues, organize and refine their presentation and synthesize them into a coherent whole.

Client

An additional benefit of Sat Tara’s counsel was the venting and diffusing of a lot of non-functional and counterproductive anger….I spoke from truth and honesty.

Client

It has been fabulous to have Sat Tara to bounce things off of, express my feelings to and to get honest feedback from.

Client

You also helped me learn to love myself again….I’ve forgiven myself. I am such a better person and a better mother now.

Client

You saved my life! You brought me out of the darkness into the light.

Client

Coming out of this, I feel so empowered and in control of my own life. You helped lay the stepping stones to get me to such a point. I will never hesitate to recommend you to others I meet who find themselves in need of sound advice and guidance. Thank you, Sat Tara, for everything.

Client

Thank you for your wonderful support and guidance through my divorce process. A year ago I was asking myself, "How does a person even start to get divorced?" and was trying to find answers in Divorce for Dummies! But nothing provides assistance better than a well-informed, supportive, understanding, highly trained, experienced, level-headed mentor which is exactly what I found in you

Client